Christian advice for dating couples

In fact, they are usually really enthusiastic about doing so.

We might even say that getting to know one another better and more deeply is (up to a certain limited point, of course) the very of a dating relationship.

As to emotional intimacy, we live in the age of email, free long distance and unlimited any-time minutes, and cheap flights.

It’s still really easy to “act married” emotionally, even in a long-distance relationship.

This is exactly the level of intimacy that is reserved for marriage only and that dating couples should make every effort to restrain until the appropriate time.

Can this level of emotional intimacy happen between people who have been dating for a shorter amount of time? But the longer a couple dates, the harder it becomes to avoid it.

I’ve spoken to numerous “long-dating” couples, in college and beyond, who other than living together, could do little to intertwine their lives any more than they already are.

They see each other every day, are with each other’s families every holiday (and often know their partner’s family as well as any son or daughter-in-law does), they travel together, spend most of their non-working (or studying) time together, they daily confide in one another (and maybe one another), and are without doubt, closer emotionally with one another than with anyone else on the planet.

On most college campuses, that likely puts the two of you in the same relatively small social circle.

Perhaps both of you are active in the same campus ministry, you go to the same church.

Where a relationship is shorter, accountability stronger, and the level of temptation, and the likelihood of sin, goes down.

To put it simply, “not acting married before you’re married,” gets exponentially more difficult the longer a pre-marital relationship persists.

I discuss this principle more fully in “Principles for Drawing Boundaries” and “What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?

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