Dating an elusive man

I am scared of getting hurt and us not being on the same page.

But, I am equally scared of pushing for something that is happening naturally and perhaps making him feel pressured and stressed about something that is easy and great, naturally. If I talk with him, how do I bring up being exclusive so that he doesn’t feel pressured?

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Just because you had a great date, just because you had electric chemistry, just because you were at his place until 3am does NOT mean he wants you as his girlfriend and does NOT mean you are long-term compatible. You do not commit to someone who has given no indication he’s committing to you.

It just means you have a serious crush with potential. That guy still needs to follow up regularly in order to prove himself worthy. Now if he’s been calling you every night, and seeing you 3 times a week for the past few weeks, then yes, you can take down your profile and focus your energies on exploring this burgeoning relationship.

Don’t leave any daylight between exclusive and boyfriend. Sometimes, when women who are new at “sexclusivity” bring it up to their men, they say something like, “So I just want to make sure you’re not sleeping with anybody else right now.” The guy says, “Nope. A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because you feel a real connection with him.

A man is boyfriend-worthy if he’s demonstrating that he’s serious about being in a relationship with you.

You can theoretically have unprotected sex with a stranger in the bathroom of a bar and end up spending the rest of your life with him.

That does not inherently make this an effective strategy. Don’t stop seeing other guys until he’s acting like your boyfriend In my 11 years as a dating coach, I’ve repeatedly seen the power of chemistry.

It’s not the only way to do it, but I’m confident that it’s the most effective one.

I agree with Evan’s advice about waiting for sex if NSA sex does not suit you.

This was specifically created to protect the hearts of women who have sex with guys they’ve been seeing for a few weeks, and proceed to get upset when they see him online, when he doesn’t text frequently enough, and when it’s become increasingly clear that he just wanted sex, not a relationship. She’s now had sex with a guy who is NOT her boyfriend, and she still has no idea whether he’s seeing anyone else, whether he has any feelings towards her, or whether he’s going to call her the next day. In the meantime, I can think of some other fun things to do…”And then you can proceed to explore each others’ bodies to the limits of whatever boundaries you decide to set. It should be pretty hard for him to argue with that.

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