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" I always used to go for a playful reply like: "Specifically?

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Obviously we all want to see who we're chatting to, but there are so many reasons why a guy might prefer to remain anonymous, at least initially. Maybe he's worried that being pegged as gay or bi could affect his personal or professional life.

Maybe he's deeply insecure about the way he looks.

With gay dating apps, it generally pays to keep it simple and allow your personality to unfurl naturally.

It also pays to make sure you're treating whoever you're chatting to, however anonymous he may seem, with a modicum of respect (that feels like basic advice but you'd be surprised).

There's a time and place for asking a guy about his favorite Britney deep cut, and it's not when he's just sent a totally earth-shattering nude.

Sometimes a guy will recognize me on a sex app and message me to say he enjoyed an article I wrote.With this in mind, here's a guide to navigating the apps without accidentally (or, you know, intentionally, you dick) acting like a douchebag. I'm guessing you don't need me to tell you which do what (Grindr, I see you).If you're on an app that's mainly used for hook-ups, keep small talk to a minimum.Does being "masc" make him better in bed or a more loving potential boyfriend? Here’s something I’ve learned from my years perusing various gay dating apps: if he says he’s only into "normal” or “straight-acting guys," he isn't worth your time.And in my experience, he'll probably end up doing a Miss Vanjie impression after his third drink, anyway.Look, no one can tell you what should or shouldn't turn you on.

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